26 August 2018

Twenty Wonderful Words Which Shouldn’t be Allowed to Wither

There are many words these days that are rarely used – and that is a great shame as even the simple act of their enunciation can bring on a smile, such is their irrefragable brilliance.

Go on, drop a few in to your next conversation and ensure their preservation.  You are guaranteed to be the cynosure of attention and contesseration will be guaranteed.

In other words you will be the life and soul of the party and make many friends.

This could also be known as nodding dog syndrome – and quite often it happens at work.  Do you have a colleague who – in their keenness to show that they understand and agree with you – nod their heads for so long and so consistently that you become afraid that it will fall off?  Then they are demonstrating nutation.

Do you like or admire a particular part of someone’s body – or for that matter that special place on bodies in general?  Then that means that you are agastopic.  Perhaps you can be relieved in one way – at least you have an alternative word to fetish at long last.

We all know someone who is guilty of this, you know.  It’s like, you know, when people repeat words or phrases almost, you know, ad infinitum.  You may also have experienced it in the workplace where Orwellian type ‘speaks’ are common in this day and age of political correctness gone mad.  Missing you already.

Chaetophorous or setigerous
You need a shave man – the dual roots of word chaetophorous are ‘hairy’ and ‘bearing’. The second has purely Latin roots and sounds like a character out of an Asterix book but means exactly the same as the first.  Two for the price of one!

If you are the owner, sorry parent, of children (especially the teenage variety) then you could do worse than to thrust this word under their noses next time they resolutely refuse to tidy up the abomination of untidiness that is their bedroom.  For, due to their indifferent, nonchalant and apathetic attitude towards the upkeep of their habitat they are being truly pococutante.  This quite often goes hand in hand with the propensity to perendinate – which is to put off till tomorrow what could well be done today.  So, your offspring may well be perendinacious pococutantes.  Oh yeah.

We all do it and they say that it is generally the first sign of madness.  If you answer back then there may be reason to worry.  If you are a monologist then it simply means that you chatter away with or to yourself without necessarily having anything else but your own company.  If you are a monologist then it is fairly likely that you also suffer from logorrhea, which is when you babble on and on quite incoherently.  However, logorrhea can include more than one person.

You have seen or felt this in movies a million times, especially the ones of the horror variety.  Agowilt is a sudden and inexplicable feeling of fear.  The type of fear that takes your stomach and leaves it firmly in your mouth.  Never fear, though, agowilt is never with you usually for too long. Unless, of course, a reason for the inexplicable fear suddenly appears: then it's just plain old terror.

Do you enjoy a good argument simply for its own sake?  Will you freely engage in heated debate simply for the pleasure of articulating your ideas in opposition to those of others?  Then, my friend, you have a truly eristic nature.  If this is so, you may well have another trait – you may be a deipnosophist which is someone who is highly skilled at the seemingly casual art of dinner party conversation.  That kind of talk in itself is know as aristology.  We could go on forever here.

If it happens to you every seven day, then it’s hebdomadal.  Remember that young lady who didn’t like Mondays and then – as the song puts it – shot the whole school down?  She was suffering from a hebdomadal malaise, no doubt, when she pulled the trigger.  If you have fish for your main meal each Friday then it is your hebdomadal treat – and so on and so forth!  And next time you want to throw a sick day at work and can’t come up with anything better than a stomach ache as an excuse, then tell them it was a biduous stomach ache.  The people in Human Resources aren’t to know it only means that it lasted two days.  If you are wondering what the picture has to do with this, what is JB’s secret service code number?

Sorry, I have forgotten your name.  I am always doing it.  What was it again?  Names are one things – words something else entirely.  If you forget words and you cannot rest until they have reappeared inside your memory then it is more than likely that you have loganamnosis.  If you have this you may not wish to read on as you will fail to remember some of these words when you wish to and you will drive yourself mad in the process of trying to recall them.

Ever been in a restaurant and been quietly but most definitely mortified by the speed at which a neighboring diner is eating?  Or, even worse – the greedy guzzler is that wonderful first date you had been day-dreamily considering as a life partner?  Well, you have found yourself confronted by a tachypagia which is – not to put too fine a point on it – eating way too quickly.  Along the same lines (as a throwaway) if you have had difficulty understanding what your teacher is trying to impart it may be because they are tachydidaxic – which means they are teaching way too fast.

This is something that might precede or follow eating too quickly.  Something that isn’t a fart.  Not yet anyway.  You know that rumbling noise in your belly that you have experienced, often in situations when it is the last thing you want other people to hear?  Well.  This is it.  It is the sound that gas makes in your intestines when it becomes audible externally.

A sudden sternutation filled the air as the gentleman deposited another sea of mucus in to his pocket handkerchief.  Bless this wonderful language, as there is actually a word that describes the sound of a sneeze – at least one that isn’t the more common ‘achoo’.  Expectoration and sternutation occasionally going hand in hand, things could soon get messy around here.  Especially if it is accompanied by rhinorrhea (a runny nose in other words).

This is when an act is defended by saying that, had it not taken place, then something much worse could have happened.  So goes the argument about the atomic bombs over Japan in 1945.  The antistatic argument goes that had the bombs not been dropped then many more people (both American and Japanese) would have died in an invasion of Japan.

You can have a dilemma – and that’s bad enough.  A trilemma could be considered even worse.  If only Oscar Wilde had come across this particular word he would have had a field day.  For a polylemma is a situation where there are multiple options – and none of them are particularly wonderful.  Sounds very much like a return to the horror movie, where there are usually a good many polylemmas confronting teenagers before they are butchered.

Ah, the sweet smell of success.  But is there a word for the anticipation of success?  You know, the type of almost smug feeling you have after that job interview when you know you are going to be offered the position?  The sensation that you have knowing that the finish line will be crossed first by your good self because you put tiny ball bearings in to the running shoes of your competitors?  Then you have experienced nikhedonia. 

Image Credit Flickr User morbcn
You may find yourself completely metagrobolized by the contents of this article.  In other words, if all of this is quite simply mystifying you then you have been – or are – metagrobolized.  This word is just begging for a renaissance in its usage – next time something completely sets you aback, please use it.

Possibly back to teenagers - but it is nothing to do with an out of control sex drive.  If you are hypoprosexic then you have an inability to concentrate on any one thing for more than a short length of time.  You are probably fully aware of a host of family and friends who could fall under this word’s remit.  Now, what was it we were talking about?

By now your interest in this article may well be filipendulous.  In other words, it is hanging on by a thread and you are just about to click that button that will close down this page altogether.  Don’t do just yet though – just one more to go!

If you have enjoyed this list then it may well be because you are a lexicomane or, in other words – a lover of dictionaries.  At least you make it easy for loved ones to decide on Christmas gifts.  If not a lexicomane then I hope it has at least sated your logofascination (interest in words) a little.  Whatever the case, the author hopes that you have enjoyed this piece in a manner lexicomanic or even otherwise.

First Image Credit Flickr User _Max-B