Cover Your Eyes, Children! Here Comes Lange Wapper

If you happen to pass by the historic medieval fortress of Het Steen in Antwerp, Belgium the chances are very likely you will come across a statue.  A real double-take statue. Or even a triple-take statue.  However many times you eyes are drawn to it, this is one statue that demands your attention. Created in 1963 by Belgium sculptor Alber Poets, the sculpture represents a legendary figure in Flemish folklore, the crafty and mischievous giant called Long Whopper.  Sorry, Lange Wapper.  Dubious translations aside, he is certainly a big boy.

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What makes the statue a little more provocative than perhaps intended are the two tiny figures at its base. They gaze upwards at the grinning giant, but their eyes don’t seem to be fixed on his face. They appear to be more in awe of what’s behind that somewhat straining codpiece than anything else. They seem so bewildered, enthralled by, and generally discombobulated by the sheer, ahem, presence of what they see that they have to hold each other up. Or perhaps I just have a slightly dirty mind. Did I watch too many Carry On films as a kid?

First of all, I should probably clear up any confusion around the name 'Wapper'. It does not, in fact, translate to something huge, enormous, gigantic or, dare I say it, swelling. The name Lange Wapper roughly translates to 'Long Strider' or 'Long Prowler' in English. 'Lange' means 'long' in Dutch, referring to his ability to stretch (all parts, no doubt, of) his body to an enormous size. 'Wapper' is derived from the verb 'wappen', which can mean 'to swagger' or 'to stride' in some Flemish dialects, reflecting his tricksy, towering presence as he wandered through towns, playing practical jokes on the unsuspecting.

Poels’ statue certainly has swagger, that’s for sure. That slightly smug expression on Lange Wapper’s face, the arms confidently akimbo, the not-so-gently thrusting hips, and the frankly splayed legs – it all adds up to someone who knows what he’s got and isn’t afraid to share.  Did Poels have his tongue firmly in his cheek when he created this big, bold, bronze double-entendre?

No one knows for sure. Yet Lange Wapper’s cheeky chappiness is legendary. His adventures include the odd foray into cluster feeding from unsuspecting local ladies (yes, he could become smaller too). He would also impersonate nuns and priests to obtain confessions about all sorts of unholy secrets. Not only that, he would harass drunks, making them believe they were being hunted by demons. Ah the ‘good old days’… but generally speaking, it doesn’t seem like he was a very nice chap at all – more of a medieval version of a being from the Q Continuum than a benign trickster. It was probably funnier to those who were not his victims, that’s for sure.

Regardless of the ignominy surrounding being a victim of Lange Wapper, the statue has become an iconic landmark in Antwerp, reflecting the city's appreciation for its folklore and history. It serves not only as a tourist attraction but also as a reminder of the stories that have shaped the city's identity over the centuries. Yet, one cannot help but wonder what surprise (nasty or otherwise) Lange Wapper has up his… sleeve for the two bewildered beings at his feet.

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